Monday, August 27, 2012

The Birth Story

This is a birth story, it does include things like blood, fluids, vagina, etc, etc. Consider yourself warned.

First of all, my labor was NOT normal. I had been in labor for 10 days ( ctrx at 10 minutes apart ever day but not dilated) I then went into "active" labor for 3 days ( ctrx from 90 seconds-5 minutes apart 24 hours a day) I was only dilated to a 2.5 when I walked into the doors of labor and delivery at 4:30am.

I could not stand a single contraction more, and was really having to stop, moan, and breathe through each one. I told the nurse who checked me in (triage) that I wasn't leaving without my baby today. She checked me, then stretched me to a 3 and admitted me. It hurt. it felt like she ripped my vagina open.

After she stretched me, I was told to lay down and relax for an hour with a fluid of IV's. After I got through the bag of fluids, I was still only dilated to a 3. They then sent me walking the halls. I had to walk for 30 minutes, then rest for 30 minutes. I did this for 4 hours. When I was checked again I was dilated to a 3.5. My ctrx were still at 3-5 minutes apart. After 6 hours of being in L & D my doctor came in to see how we felt about getting our water broken ( we had a no intervention plan) and we agreed to see if we could get things moving.

The water breaking actually felt good. A lot of pressure was relieved and while gross to have all this warm liquid fall out, it was a nice change. Within an hour ctrx went from bad to worse. I was now having to pick focal points to get me through each ctrx. I held Carlos' hand and had my doula rubbing my back. I ended up getting into the shower at some point during hour 8 and it was the best relief I could have asked for.

My doctor asked me to continue walking the halls to get my ctrx at 3 minutes apart consistently, and to see if we could get dilated any further. After 2 more hours of walking, I was getting into a rough place and needed to concentrate on working through the contractions. I used the birthing ball a lot during this time and even went back into the shower ( with the ball!). Once I was out, I was checked again at 6pm and we just made it to an "almost" 4.

At this point I lost it. I got very upset that there was no progress and I lost all motivation to work through the contractions. I was crying and praying for peace and a break from the contractions so I could wrap my head around not progressing.

They asked me to start pitocin. I had a very hard time with that, and I knew I couldn't make it any further without the epidural. My husband and I talked about the decision for an hour, and decided to start the epidural and the pitocin.
The epidural scared me, a lot! I have a fear of needles and knowing this was a huge needle, there are many risks involved, etc. They pushed 1 bag of antibiotics through my IV and another 1/2 bag of fluids. The Dr came in, and I'd say the worst part of the epidural was the numbing shot. There are multiple pokes that make you "jump" a bit. I didn't feel anything but pressure after that. I still felt contractions for 5 minutes after the epidural was inserted, which were hard to breathe through during the process. The epidural was heavenly once it finally kicked in!.

I was able to finally look at our "birth plan" and know that we had tried every alternative to avoid all the intervention and it just couldn't be helped (in our case) I was finally laughing, and relaxed after an hour. The epidural was inserted around 9pm and I was told to rest.

Our doula stayed with me and I sent Carlos away to go get dinner. Around 10pm, Carlos came back, and we turned out the lights to try and get some rest. The nurse came in every 40 minutes to check on me, and my monitors, which didn't allow for much "sleep".

At 11:00pm the nurse came in because the baby had a dip in his heart rate. They checked me and I was at a 4 almost 5. Within 10 minutes my doctor came rushing in and didn't like my progress or the babies heart rate. She checked me as well and felt the baby moving back and fourth against my cervix. She said she was "tickling" his head and he would respond with a "bang" against the cervix.

She left, and 30 minutes she came back and told me they were stopping pitocin. She told us she felt my body was not responding, and that it was becoming dangerous to me and the baby. We could either wait it out and see if baby would come on his own for 2 more hours, or go ahead with a c-section.

This is where both me and my husband started crying. Our worst fear was coming true and we had no idea what to do. My husband got very shaky and upset and ended up leaving the room for 30 minutes to grab a soda, walk around and gather his thoughts. I was able to talk it through with the doula and find peace with the decision I knew had to be made. Once my husband came back in, We made the decision to get some rest for a few hours then proceed with the c-section. The DR ok'd the decision and went to take a nap herself. We finally got settled back into bed around 12am and had just fallen asleep. At 1:00am the nurse came in to tell us the babies heart rate was all over the place and that she was going to wake the DR to do the c-section 1 hour earlier then planned. We were scheduled for the surgery at 3:00am, but ended up starting the process a little after 1. After we were finally drugged up, and wheeled into the OR it was a little after 2:00am. I remember shaking uncontrollably, and crying when my husband had to wait outside. I saw a whole team of nurses for both myself and the baby and my mind went to the worse place possible. I told the Dr that I was very scared and she did great to try and comfort me. Once they got the sheet up to block my view I heard the Dr announce she had made her incision and to let Carlos and the doula back in. Once Carlos came back in, I could tell he was still very worried and emotional, so he held my hand tight and kept telling me how brave I was and how much he loved me. Within a few minutes I felt a lot of pressure and the Dr held up the baby where Carlos told me "it's a penis" " We have a SON!" I didn't believe him, and kept saying "no way!" I asked the Dr for confirmation, and all the nurses and Dr said how beautiful he was.

Henry was born at 2:41 AM and Carlos and I were just so in love.

After about 30 minutes of getting stitched and cleaned up, Carlos left the room to travel with Henry to have blood work done, etc and I was wheeled into recovery. I really can't remember many details past this point as i was so, so exhausted and doped up. I went to sleep for an hour, then heard my husbands voice and my Henry fussing.

Shortly after they arrived and I got to hold Henry for the first time, we were wheeled into a post postpartum room.
It was around 5:00am when we got settled and we had them take Henry into the nursery so we could get a few hours of sleep.

it goes without saying that my birth plan went right out the window. I held onto the idea so tightly but once I knew my baby was at risk I just didn't care anymore. It was very hard delivery, and a huge emotional roller coaster, but at this point, none of that even matters because I have my sweet baby boy who is healthy, happy and absolutely perfect.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

It's a BOY!

Welcome to the world Henry!

Healthy, little baby!

Born August 18th @ 2:41 am by emergency C-section. Details to follow soon. We're all healthy, happy and so in love.

Monday, August 13, 2012


Yep, that's right, still no baby. But I have had 4 days of slow, ohmygod this is never going to end labor.

Let's talk a minute about the frame of mind I'm in because of the delay. I'm not a patient person when it comes to waiting around. It's kind of a funny thought looking back because my husband? Always late. You can ask anyone he knows and they will tell you he has never been on time a day in his life. It just so happens his kid? Same thing. Stubborn, I tell ya.

I've learned patience with my husband and now I'm learning patience with my baby. I guess it's gods way of preparing me to slow down, and keep the faith. I know I will have this baby, I know I wont be pregnant forever, I know baby will come when baby wants to come. Everyone and their mother tells me this, every 5 minutes of every day I've been overdue. The thing is, I'm OKAY with the baby being late, but having people remind me everyday that my baby is way overdue gives me stress and I kind of want to start throat punching people.

Further more let's talk about early labor. I've been in the thick of this early labor business for FOUR days. I've had no sleep, my contractions are 5 minutes apart all day and all night long. I maybe get a break mid-day where they stall out, I can put my feet up and relax. But then, I freak out. Why did they stop? Oh no, my labor wont start again, ohmygosh my baby is stuck!!! It's mind blowing.

Last night around 5 pm I started timing the contractions again. Sure enough they were coming in at 4-5 minutes apart and I was having to breathe through them. Then it felt like 1 contraction had last 5 minutes long and the top half of my belly near my ribs got hard as a rock and would not let go. I have Carlos feel it and he couldn't believe it either. After an hour, we texted our doula to see what her thoughts were and she immediately called back and asked if we thought the baby might have flipped. I told her I wasnt sure, but the baby was very active the day before. She asked me to go get checked out at L & D just in case the baby turned breech, because that would more then likely result in an emergency C section with being over-due. We didnt mess around and left 10 minutes later.

Labor and delivery were slow so we got in very fast, got hooked up,and all was well. The nurse said baby looked fantastic, and was still head down. Thank god. Then she told me some of the worst news to a 4 day labor having mama I could have heard. I was only 1 cm dilated. WHAT???? I have been 1 cm dilated for 3 weeks. With all the contractions, the back labor, the sleepless nights and I had made zero progress? I was literally devastated.

When we got released ( within 1 hour) the drive home was a quiet one. I'm thankful my husband didnt push a bunch of questions, or any you're doing great baby! things on me, because at that moment I just wanted to be left the heck alone. I got home, hooked the dog to his leash and went for a nice long walk...alone. When I got back, I put my jammies on ( at 10pm) laid in bed and the uncontrollable sobbing began. I could not hold it in any longer. I felt so defeated, so failed. My body was doing so much work and yet it wasn't getting me anywhere. My husband held my hand, gave me a kiss and told me to not focus on the labor and to focus on how I'm going to love our baby when they decide to make their arrival. He kissed me goodnight, and I fell asleep.

It's been a rough few days, and I feel like i'm always one to keep it together. I'm trying SO hard to keep it all together, but this waiting game is so hard when all you want to do is love on your baby that you baked for 9...ahem...10 long months.

I know my time will come soon.